Every publication eventually develops that one room where the conversation changes. You know the one. It’s after dinner. The dishes are mostly done. Someone says, “Can I ask you something?” Suddenly you’re talking about the stuff nobody brings up at brunch. Marriage. Sex. Therapy. Getting older. Faith. The weird things we believed. The even weirder things we believe now. That’s what After Hours is going to be. Think of it as the living room after everyone else has gone home and we’re all a little too comfortable to keep pretending we’ve got life figured out. If you’re looking for polished answers, this probably isn’t your room. If you’re looking for honest questions, welcome.
Over the past year, I’ve realized that some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had with readers have happened in private messages and emails after an essay was published. People don’t usually write to tell me they agreed with my take on politics. They write to say, “Can we talk about what you said about marriage?” or “I’ve never told anyone this…” or “I thought I was the only one.” Those conversations have convinced me there’s a place for essays that are a little more personal than what I typically publish. Not because they’re scandalous—they’re really not—but because vulnerability deserves a little more intimacy than the open internet sometimes provides.
So yes, we’ll talk about marriage. We’ll talk about sexuality. We’ll talk about what it’s like to navigate life as a gay man who has lived enough different lives to qualify for some sort of frequent-flyer program. We’ll probably talk about therapy because, at this point, my therapist (past and present) has earned honorary co-author status. We’ll talk about aging, desire, embarrassment, joy, disappointment, and all the wonderfully awkward moments that remind us we’re still gloriously human. My promise is simple: I’ll tell the truth as best I know how, even when that truth is still unfolding. Especially then.
Now for the important announcement: this is the only post in the After Hours category that won’t have a paywall. I know, I know. Somewhere on the internet someone is already typing, “I can’t believe Randy is monetizing vulnerability.” To which I would gently reply, “Friend, have you seen the price of coffee lately?” More seriously, paid subscriptions help keep this publication going, and they create a smaller, more trusting community where these conversations can happen. Besides, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve already invested several minutes of your life in me. I’m simply asking if you’d like to make it official.
So, if you’d like to keep wandering through Mugwump Ramblings, Wayfinder, and Thrive, they’ll continue just as they always have. But if you’d like a seat in the room where the conversation gets a little quieter, a little funnier, a little messier, and a lot more personal, After Hours is waiting. Pull up a chair. The coffee’s still hot, the lights are low, and I have a feeling we’re going to tell each other some good stories.